Old Age

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always
feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the
toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're
seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran,
you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a
racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble crapping?" chimed in the 70-year-old.

"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning
at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?"

"Well I don't wake up until 7:00."

*

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated
area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big
strong horse, named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car
and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy
didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!"
Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!"
And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He
asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he
was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

*