A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her
attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying........

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together.
I come again.
Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice.
Then I come once-a-more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man,
"Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

*

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning in the same stretch of river,
and you had the choice, would you go to the cinema or go bowling?

*

A boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over. "If you get in
the car," the driver says, "I'll give you ten pounds and a packet of sweets."
The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A little further up the road the man
again pulls over. "Okay," he says, "How about twenty pounds and two packets of sweets?" The boy tells the man to piss off and carries on walking. Still further up the road the man again pulls to the curb. "Right," he says.
"This is my very final offer, I'll give you fifty pounds and all the sweets
you can eat." The little boy stops walking, goes towards the car and leans
in. "Look," he hisses. "You bought the f------ Skoda, Dad, and you have to
live with it."

*