A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting
on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist
down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below
the waist?" he asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out
here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your
Grandma's idea!"

*

There was a young girl called Ulrika.....
Who's love life couldn't be sweeter...
Sven was a fan,
She was beaten by Stan,
And was sh*gged by the guy from Blue Peter.

*

For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it!"

The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no bike."

*