For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it!"

The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no bike."

*

The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Iraqi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America." President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do." The Iraqi whispers "My son watches this show 'StarTrek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."

President Bush laughs and leans toward the Iraqi, and whispers back,

"It's because it takes place in the future...."

*

What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pit-bull

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What is the difference between a peeping tom and a robber?
A robber snatches watches

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