Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before." The other nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."

*

5 men in a rape line up... As the victim walks in, the irish fella steps forward and shouts...

THATS HER!!!!

*

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. Ceehiro.

*

Question: What do sperm and asylum seekers have in common?
Answer: They come in their millions but only one of them works!

*

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what's happened.
A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body.

"Englishman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his
mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the Coroner.

The DI is taken to the second dead man. "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand
pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol
poisoning, hence the smile."

Nothing unusual here, thinks the DI, and asks to be shown to the last
body. "Ah" says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Irishman,
30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having
his picture taken," replies the coroner.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what's happened.
A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body.

"Englishman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his
mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the Coroner.

The DI is taken to the second dead man. "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand
pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol
poisoning, hence the smile."

Nothing unusual here, thinks the DI, and asks to be shown to the last
body. "Ah" says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Irishman,
30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having
his picture taken," replies the coroner.

*